by Tracey Hogans

How do you answer  
When someone asks 
How many children 
Do you have? 

How do you answer? 
How can they understand? 

The stab of pain 
Right through your heart 
The rush of sadness 
That tears you apart 

They don’t know 
And you don’t want pity 
You hold back tears 
As your teeth are gritting  

An innocent question 
Not meant to cause pain 
Just making conversation 
Not knowing the strain 

You pause to think 
Because you’re so vulnerable 
How to answer 
Without making them uncomfortable 

Then you explain: 
I have three 
But one is in Heaven  
Waiting for me