by Ted LoRusso

Way before the Yesterness

            –that is the Wilderness that is Yesterday–

There wasn’t much to talk about

            Because

He-Who-Names-Things

Hadn’t gotten around to naming everything … yet

If one wished to have a proper conversation about one’s potato

            One couldn’t

For He-Who-Names-Things

Stalled somewhere between “Fingerling” and “French Fried”

Then one day

He-Who-Names-Things felt a pang in his stomach

            It was empty and full of longing

And he said unto himself

“I’d better name this … you know, in case it’s something serious”

So he named his empty pang, “Hunger.”

At this same time

He-Who-Names-Things looked over and saw “Neighbor”– 

            (a word he was forced to invent when Benjy Talerico moved in next door)

–eating something Brown and Crunchy

He-Who-Names-Things approached “Neighbor”

            And said

“That which you eat, I shall call “Bread”

“Thank you,” said “Neighbor,” I didn’t know it had a name”

“You’re welcome,” said He-Who-Names-Things, “May I have some of your “Bread,” for I have “Hunger”

And “Neighbor” said, “Um, no, I’m sorry, but I need this … whatchamacallit?”

 “Bread,” said He-Who-Names-Things.

“I need this ‘Bread’ to feed my family. But, hey, thanks for giving it a name.”

Enraged, He-Who-Names-Things created a new word on the spot: “Enemy”

Since a word is seldom of any use by itself, he created a word to accompany “Enemy”

That word was “Kill”

And so it happened that He-Who-Names-Things killed “Enemy” and ate his “Bread.”

With his belly full of his enemy’s bread, He-Who-Names-Things knew that he needed to create a word to encompass all that had happened that morning; a word that would contain all the feelings of remorse and sadness and destruction he was feeling, a word that most probably foretell the destruction of Mankind, the routing of Womankind, and the mass-extinction of Everything-in-between-kind

And he called this new word …